Crazy Week!

Well, this has been one crazy week for us and it seems as if it is only going to get worse. Grandmother's funeral was very nice and it was great to see all the family members there, despite the circumstances. I would like to request prayers for Colby's Papa, that was really hard to watch and I know he's very lonely. After the service we headed back toward San Antonio and it was a very pretty drive. We stopped at Enchanted Rock and got to see all the wildflowers, they are just gorgeous this time of year.
Then the next day on Saturday we had a garage sale and got rid of a bunch of stuff to lighten our load for the move. It was incredible how people like to bargain and I can't believe what they wanted to pay for some of our stuff. Oh, well I guess we got rid of it! Then that evening we had a barbeque for the people that are buying our house. This was a good time for us to have one last hoorah with our neighbors and for them to meet the neighbors as well as for their kids to meet the children that live around here. We think they will fit in perfectly in this neighborhood, although we will definitely miss it. This brings me to the concern that we still haven't closed on our house here in SA, so we definitely could use prayers for all of this to be smoothly and quickly worked out.
This weekend, we got to spend time with our good friend Wendy who was visiting from Alaska for a wedding. This was such a fresh breath of air as I have missed her so much! She is expecting a baby girl in June and we can't wait to meet Eliana Rose. As far as the next week, I'll be studying for my finals and we'll try to get some more things in boxes. You don't really realize how much stuff you have until you try to start packing it all! Yikes! Off to bed, but here are some pics from the last 2 weeks.

I still miss her

Grandmother, my dad's mom and Papa's wife for over 72 years, died this morning around midnight. I received the long awaited call from my dad at about 9:15 this morning. It didn't come as a surprise as we have participated in her slow mental and physical decline over the past 8 or 9 years with dementia.

Even this past weekend when Dad and I met up with the kayak's on the Colorado River we talked about the possibility of her passing soon. I feel as though much of our family, including myself, are not overly emotional about her death because we have been preparing for so long. What I mean by that somewhat strange comment is that we have been a part of the horrible deteriorating process of dementia.

At first she would forget small everyday things that were easily missed or ignored. Then Papa, in his ever-so-clever ornery ways, began exploiting her forgetfulness by convincing her that she still owed him 20 bucks--every day! He would just smile and chuckle while covering his mouth with his cupped hand. The situation soon became more serious as she would leave the house in her car without knowing where she was going or how to get back. After the family finally agreed to take the keys, she began taking walks without notice. She was once found face down on the pavement with some heavy cuts and bruises. I think I was a senior in high school at this point and remember stopping by their house almost every day before or after playing golf, knowing that her mind was slowly slipping. I can still remember during this time period there were times I looked into her eyes and saw fear. I really believe that at times she knew there was something wrong.

Then there was a period where the family struggled with what the best option was for taking care of her and so she hopped around from assisted livings to nursing homes. I used to visit her in the De Leon nursing home when I drove from Baylor to Andrews while at college. These were probably the most difficult years to bear as the 'not herself' moments became more and more frequent until they were the majority. Yelling uncontrollably she coined her now famous lines, "Help me! Help me!" I have found myself laughing at this many of times; it is probably a way of avoiding/covering up the awfulness and sadness of the situation. If I remember correctly, she hit her peak weight at this time from eating so often because she couldn't remember when she last ate. Add a few years of always thinking it is time to eat and one gets quite heavy. As she gained so much weight, her mobility declined and she became more and more bedridden. At this point she slowly began to loose weight because she had almost no physical activity.

During these four years of visits while I was at Baylor, her memory of us began to fade as well. Every visit became a game of whether or not she would recognize me or whoever else was came. These years were my grieving time for Grandmother as the wonderful cook and classy lady that I knew was no longer with us. There was no more making sure I had washed my hands before I ate any of her food; no more pound cake in the glass cake dome on the bar; no more loving Grandmother who defended us from pesky Papa who was always trying to steal our dinner.

So, all that said, her last few years spent at Permian Regional Care Center, aka the funeral home with a fancy name, were not as difficult to bear as she was no longer herself mentally. It was just a matter how long her physical health would endure. My visits became more about Papa. I would spend time with Grandmother because I knew it made him happy.

If I have learned anything in all of this over the past 8 or 9 years, it has to be devotion. To see him move from town to town to be close to her, visit her every day for so many years, and finally, with his own health deteriorating due to worry over her, moving into the same room at the nursing home and pushing his bed next to hers and lowing the armrests in order to sleep next to his wife of more than 70 years. Did I mention they were married for more than 70 years! He did not even come to my wedding three years ago because he was afraid to miss a day with her. What devotion. I love my Papa and Grandmother very much and appreciate this legacy they have left together. I am glad for the times I will still have with him, however few they may be. And as for Grandmother, I still miss her.

CB

Our First Blog Posting!

Here it is...in all its splendor, our first blog posting! We finally gave in to beginning a blog to keep up with friends better, especially with the move and all new life transitions that are beginning for us. (And we didn't even have to have a baby to start one!) hehe  Before I begin with my brief update, perhaps you should know all of the hard work and marital compromise that went into beginning this thing. Our first predicament was to come up with a good name because you all know that blogs need good names. Well, Colby and I probably sat in bed for 2 hours one night cracking up hysterically at all the names we had in mind. Rejects such as "Babbling Brownlees, Brownlee Business and Amish Envy quickly sank to the bottom. Colby was set on Amish Envy but I told him we might offend someone. He of course looked at me and said, What Amish person would be on a computer with a blog?...point taken. Next we researched the different sites, figured out how to do the actual blogging thing, and then agreed on a template (Joanna's choice is more like it), and tadah! Here it is.  Well, things are crazy around here as we are getting ready for nursing school graduation (Joanna), selling our treasures on Craigslist, packing and more packing, and then relocating to Ft. Worth in May. Colby is the official phone guy and gets to talk to everybody and their dog about bills, mortgages, utilities, change of address, etc. Poor thing. But my excuse is that I'm busy finishing up the final papers, presentations, the dreaded finals, and then even more dreaded Nursing Boards. But then after those arduous tasks are over, I will begin my new job on June 2nd at Cook Children's Medical Center in the Hematology/Oncology unit. I am very exciting about this new venture. It will surely be challenging, but I hope to make a difference in those kiddos lives as well as their parents and sibling that go through such stressful times. I will definitely pray more for my patients than I ever have once I begin work there. We are excited about our new house in Ft. Worth and if you'd like the address, let us know and we'll send it to you.  And of course you are all welcome to come visit! Ok, that's all for now. (sorry not very entertaining, but I'm sure Colby will add thought provoking serious posts on here compared to my ramblings.) Tata!